Learning to Talk

Written November 2, 2009

Libertys open heart surgery #3 was July 1st.  The surgery itself went excellent.  The 3 months in the hospital afterwards not so well.  After Libertys surgery, when I talked to the surgeon and he told me that it was easy for him to do his work and he looked forward to doing her final fix surgery.  I cried, and I cried.

Liberty came off the breathing machine July 4th, doing absolutely great.  The first week was awesome, then very quickly, things weren't right, Libby started having fevers, and became very ill.  They ran two antibiotics for a month.  One day Libby would seem okay, the next on her death bed.  There were so many ups and downs.  Her spirit never ever got down though.  She had to have 20 pokes a day, needles going through her foot, needles bending in half after hitting her bones, needles having to be poked into her little thumbs, trying to find any vein they could, and she never had fear, never sulked. In fact, Libby laughed and played and went outside in the sun just hours before she stopped breathing when the infection in her heart took its toll on her and brought her body down.  You see that's what is amazing, infection roaring through her body and trying to bring her down, and mentally and emotionally she wouldn't let it.  That is what keeps our Libby so strong, she has a love for life, four years old but she is wise beyond her years and appreciates what she has.  This year I have seen Libby almost pass away three times, two of the times I seen her fight hard, give her all to continue on with her little life.  One time was different, dark black little girl, shaking in bed, striving to breathe, just not able to get the oxygen she needed.  The only sound in the room was Libs heavy gasping.  It was absolutely horrifying, It is then that in my prayers I prayed to God to please take her and end her suffering or give her back to me.  I wasn't angry with God, I hadn't given up on Lib. I just wanted to let God know that I could be selfless enough to let her go if that was the only way she could be in peace. The very next morning during a procedure to put in a iv line, she came back breathing better than ever.  They don't know if they popped open a lung with the breathing machine, or what made the change, but Libby was finally Okay. 

A couple GI and immunology issues have come up, and little things here and there.  Nothing that is going to damper her living her life happily. 

Lib started talking during her hospital stay.  I knew Libby could talk, but I had no idea about the depths of her knowledge. We were sitting in her bed opening a package from saving little hearts and she pulled out a foam heart, and she yelled "Heart" we said how do you know that, her reply "I know my heart!".  From that moment forward, she named every shape, every farm and zoo animal.  She talked about any and everything.  She would help the nurses with everything and always told them Thank you, she loved talking about what she could do to be a good girl.  She is currently trying her hardest to learn her alphabet, she sings the song, but she wants to point to every letter in books, on signs, anywhere and have you tell her what they are.  She enjoys drawing shapes, writing numbers.  She enjoys Super Why, which is a show on PBS that teaches children to read.  She puts all her energy into learning, and I couldn't be more proud.  I have explained everything to Libby since she was born, even her medications, I wanted her to know everything, and I think it shows =) Our favorite Dr. came in a couple days before we left, and he said I have to hear Liberty talk, she chatted away to him and his face lit up and he said "You guys told us you have always known she could talk but has chosen not to, and something broke through to her and she wants to communicate now, Amazing"   Same Dr. That 3 weeks earlier came into our room, sad faced, and said bluntly "I swear we are here to help kids, not make them sicker" and ran off quickly. I am glad he got to see Liberty thriving because they need to see that what they do is Absolutely Amazing!  They contribute more than I think they will ever know.  Libby has a part of every surgeon, doctor, nurse in her.  It's because of them that she is able to thrive and be where she is today. 

We've had to change our lives around this year, we had to uproot our home, we have had to take chances, we have had our hearts broken, we have had to find strength, hold onto hope, know our faith, endure the lows, enjoy the highs, and no one ever says its easy but It is definitely worth it.  I get to look into Libs smiling blue eyes as she asks for a "snuggle buggle", I get to see her sing and dance, she has a fun, hilarious personality and makes me laugh every single day.  Her little heart is so trusting and loving even after what she goes through, but she needs or wants no sympathy, she just enjoys life plain and simple.